DIY wedding vows are becoming more and more popular! Traditional vows can come across as impersonal, so it’s no surprise that modern couples are going the DIY route. Even with DIY becoming more popular, that doesn’t mean that writing your own vows is an easy task. Read on, for tips to keep it simple!
Do not procrastinate!
I’m pretty much the queen of procrastination, but trust me. Don’t put off starting your vows! These are the promises you’ll make to each other at the beginning of your life together. Make them the best they can be.
What do you love about them?
Say what you love about them, and/or why you love them. Start with as long as list as possible & whittle it down to the most important, or your favorite few.
Find some inspiration!
Go to YouTube and spend some time watching other couples’ wedding videos. Keep an eye out for vows that strike a chord with you & write them down in the notes section on your phone so you can easily access them later.
Tell a quick story or anecdote.
Go back to when you learned how to write an essay in school & support your statement! Short and sweet is best, but tell a bit of a story or anecdote to illustrate why what you love about them is important to you, or when it became apparent that they are the one for you.
Say exactly what you are promising.
These are vows, not just a moment for you to say what you love about someone – but what you’re willing to do because of that love. Can’t figure out how to explain all of the things you want to promise your partner? Think about what you’d love to hear them promise you.
Throw in some humor.
I’m sure there are some couples this won’t work for, and that’s fine! I love it when there is a little humor thrown in during the vows, to personalize the ceremony & keep the feeling light. But remember to…
Read the room.
Think about who you will be saying your vows in front of. Do you really want to tell that funny story in front of Grandma? Make sure you’ll be comfortable reading your vows out in front of everyone you invite. Is something a bit too personal? Perhaps write it in a letter to be delivered to your partner while you’re all getting ready day-of. Sweet, personal letters are a great way to connect before the ceremony, without being face-to-face. They also make for great photos!
Discuss with your partner!
Agree on a general length so that you each take about the same amount of time to read your vows.
Ask for help!
Go to a family member or officiant for help! Ask them for ideas, but also ask if they’d be open to proofread & compare your vows at least a week before the wedding. They can help make sure you aren’t both awkwardly repeating the same things, the length is similar, and nothing gets missed. Having a deadline before the wedding keeps you from procrastinating and leaving the vows until the day before!
TL;DR – Quick Tips
Write down 3 things you love about your partner, then 5 promises you want to make them. Mix in 3 shared experiences or inside jokes. Ta Da! You’re either done, or have a great beginning for your wedding vows.
Here are my vows, for example:
Anthony, you are the most amazing person I have ever met. You are always there for me, no matter what, taking care of me and doing whatever I ask of you. You pull me out of my comfort zone and encourage me to try new things.
I love that I can truly be myself with you, as crazy as I am, and you love me all the more for it. Our random dance breaks and silly antics that cause spontaneous bouts of laughter at all hours of the day and night surely must make our neighbors question our life choices, but I couldn’t be happier.
When my idea to find a volunteering opportunity for myself over school’s winter break became a regular date night for us, working with a cat rescue for the past 5 years, your compassion for animals and other people, became apparent and I knew I could never let you go.
Today, I vow to love you, respect you, and support you, and give you the best of myself. I will learn and grow with you, even as time and life change us both. I will be there to laugh with you, and at you, in good times, and struggle alongside you in bad times. I promise to give you my unsolicited advice on everything from your dishwasher stacking techniques to your career – and I’ll forgive you when you choose not to take it. I promise to continue to be your personal SoundHound, and occasionally laugh at your endless, terrible puns. And last but not least…I promise to make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.